


someday, something we dreamed of

by TheEnlightenment



Series: KinWon Genderqueer AU [2]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Domestic Violence, Eventual Smut, First Time, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, Genderqueer Character, Growing Up, Implied Wooseok/Yuto, Kino-centric, M/M, Shinwon Calls Kino Baby Approximately Ninety Million Times, Time Skips, background Jinho/Hongseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27223633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEnlightenment/pseuds/TheEnlightenment
Summary: They move to a tiny town where no one knows him, somewhere he can pretend to be normal. The problem is Hyunggu is tired of that, so instead he dyes his hair a vibrant blue and gets ready to start a new life without hiding, without pretending to be someone he’s not.Kino's Perspective of "shining brighter than anyone else, that year's you, you of that day"
Relationships: Jo Jinho | Jino/Yang Hongseok, Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Ko Shinwon
Series: KinWon Genderqueer AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987543
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	someday, something we dreamed of

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel? Other POV, but I think I wrote it in a way that makes sense on its own. You just won't get some of the sentimental things, so I do recommend reading "shining brighter than anyone else, that year's you, you of that day" first ! 
> 
> Eventual Smut, it's literally right at the end, if you'd like to skip it :   
> Starts at “You- I know you want to have sex.”  
> Ends at 'Somehow he knows he does.'

“Mom, how do you know I’m a boy?” Hyunggu asks at the ripe age of nine, leaving his mom with a strange look and a slight blush. She glances at his father, and they smile at each other in that way adults do when they know something you don’t. Hyunggu pouts to himself, upset to be left out.   
  
“Well boys have different parts than girls do, parts like yours.” His mom laughs as she says it, but Hyunggu doesn’t find any of it funny. He’s just confused.    
  
“What about other than boys and girls?” Hyunggu gets up from the floor onto his knees, looking at his parents expectantly. He feels scared when his dad’s expression changes to one he doesn’t see often and he gives a mean look to his mom. He doesn’t like this question, Hyunggu thinks.    
  
“There is no other, Hyunggu.” His mom says, no laughter in her voice. Hyunggu thinks that can’t be true, because Hyunggu is  _ certainly  _ not a boy. He just doesn’t feel like one. He wants to ask why there is no other, and if he can make there be, but he leaves it alone because his parents turn stiff and his dad raises the volume on the TV.    
  


  
When he’s in school, he asks a girl on the playground behind the rock wall if she wants to look at each other's parts and the girl agrees. Hyunggu finds her parts strange, he doesn’t really think anything of his own but he doesn’t understand how girls pee if they’re missing a hose. He asks the girl how she knows she’s a girl and she gives him a weird look. 

“I like girl things,  _ duh  _ .” Hyunggu knows what girl things are, because before he knew anything he’d ask his mom to buy pretty dolls with the clothes and baby strollers to play with and she would tell him those are  _ girl things  _ and he would go to the  _ boy things  _ aisle and pick the dinosaurs and superheroes he wanted, keeping his mouth shut. It’s not that Hyunggu doesn’t like dinosaurs and superheroes, he just also likes dolls and cooking toys.   
  
Hyunggu thinks he must just be different.    
  
  


Hyunggu skips from 5th grade to 8th, the level of work being much too easy for him and his parents shine with pride. He feels good about himself. Hyunggu is popular in middle school, the girls think he’s handsome and the boys think he’s cool cause he’s good at sports and talking to girls. Hyunggu doesn’t get the big deal, sports are easy and girls are just like anyone else. It’s his first day changing in the locker rooms that he realizes the difference. The boys aren’t shy about baring it all and looking at each other, some bragging that they’re gonna grow even more. Hyunggu averts his eyes and goes to change in the bathroom stalls, as he’s putting on his basketball shorts he overhears a boy talking about a girl he ... likes? Hyunggu isn’t really sure.    
  
“Dude, Yoona has the biggest ones in the whole school. She wears like triple D’s or something for sure.”    
  
“Mina is way prettier though, and she has nice legs. I’d fingerblast her behind the school if she’d let me.” Another boy laughs. Hyunggu feels sick to his stomach, he doesn’t really understand what a lot of it is but he can understand enough to know the girls wouldn’t like to hear it. He comes out of the stall, dressed and frowning.    
  
“Yo Kang, you’re good with the girls. Got anyone to suck it yet?” The same boys call to him, looking at him expectantly. Hyunggu wants to just walk away but knows middle school is crueler than just letting that slide.    
  
“No.” Hyunggu admits. He’s not going to  _ lie  _ about it. He’s sure most boys haven’t done anything either, that it’s all just talk. He’s not dumb.    
  
“No way, you’re hiding it. Why else would you talk to them all the time?” The other boys in the circle laugh. Hyunggu doesn’t like any of them.    
  
“They’re just nice.” Hyunggu says, raising a brow at them.    
  
“What the fuck? You gay or something?” Hyunggu freezes, tries not to show the panic in his eyes.    
  
“No, I just care more about soccer right now.” Hyunggu laughs it off, gives his best teasing grin even though he’s sure he’ll vomit any second. “Maybe you’d be better at it if you played more, instead of jerking off over girls that won’t even look at you.” He knows how to talk to the boys too, hates it but knows it’s necessary to stay afloat in this ecosystem. The other boys laugh at the original offender, taking over the roasting as Hyunggu gets the chance to walk away with a sigh.    
  
Hyunggu’s never liked anyone. He isn’t even really sure what it feels like to like someone, not in the way the boys talk about it. He doesn’t like to think about it. He shakes his head and goes out to the field, winning his team the game once more and hoping the cheers for him never die down - despite who he may turn out to be.    
  
  


Hyunggu is given a laptop from his parents when he enters his freshman year, ‘for school’ they tell him, but Hyunggu is excited to have his own little private space inside the item. He can’t look up the things he wants to on school computers, too afraid of anyone seeing and spreading it all around or worse - telling his parents. He hugs them both, says an excited “thank you” and runs off to his room.   
  
He’s also excited because this way he can look at dance tutorials easier than on his phone, and practice in his room without worrying about anything falling over. Hyunggu loves dance, he feels like he belongs inside the music - inside the feeling it gives him as he moves. Hyunggu really likes the dances he sees girls do online, but he hasn’t practiced those yet - nowhere is private enough for him to let go and do it properly. 

Hyunggu takes his time at night, when he’s sure his parents have gone to bed to carefully open the laptop and look up things that circle around in his mind since before he can remember, about boys who don’t think they’re boys but finds a lot about boys who know they’re girls - something Hyunggu has also never agreed with. He searches almost every night for answers, eventually finding a few forums of people who don’t identify as either, choosing to be an in between. He thinks that’s a lot more like what he is , but he still doesn’t think the label he finds fits him.    
  
One night, he gathers up all the courage he possibly can and leaves a comment asking if it’s okay to just not feel like anything at all, to just feel like existing within existing. He is who he is, no labels, no standards. He likes what he likes, who he likes. He has no problems with his body parts, and as he went through puberty (and with his new laptop) he’s found he’s  _ only  _ attracted to males - something he doesn’t suppress but doesn’t do anything about out of safety. He doesn’t know how his parents will react to him telling them he likes boys and only boys, but doesn’t feel like a boy himself. He’s afraid of anyone at all finding out, and it feels so wrong. Hyunggu’s always been the purest version of himself, never holding back his thoughts before these, but he’s just so  _ afraid  _ . It isn’t too long before he finds he has good reason to be.    
  
  


In the summer of his freshman year, his parents find his laptop unlocked while he’s out at soccer practice. Hyunggu has always been careful, he can’t believe he left it open. He figures out that his mom just wanted to use his laptop to search something while his father was busy working, and when searching for some kind of recipe - she noticed his search histories, clicking on a few and eventually finding  _ that  _ comment.    
  
When Hyunggu comes home, his mom calls him into his room and tells him to close the door and sit on the bed to have a talk. His blood runs cold, his face paling as his heartbeat nearly flies out his throat and he tries to laugh it all off like always.    
  
“What’s so serious?” He tries to joke. His mom just keeps looking at him, no smile in sight. Her eyes are scary. Any hope of telling her and getting accepted immediately flies out the window that Hyunggu wishes he could jump out of right about now.    
  
“What have you been looking up?” His mom starts.    
  
“I don’t know,” Hyunggu tries to play dumb. If he doesn’t say anything at all, can she accuse him?    
  
“Where did you even get these ideas, Hyunggu? You’ve always been such a good boy.” It hurts. Hyunggu doesn’t mind being called masculine pronouns or anyone using his name, he’s never had a problem with it - but this is intentional. She’s erasing what he is, who he is.    
  
“No, I haven’t, Mom.” Hyunggu tries, maybe if he just explains how he feels she’ll understand him and it will all be okay. Maybe -  _ just please.  _ “I’ve never been a good  _ boy _ . “ Hyunggu barely registers what he feels when his face suddenly stings and his neck snaps in the direction of the slap. He holds his hand to his cheek, looking at his mother with those wide eyes of his.    
  
“You’re sick. You’ve been talking to foreigners online, they’ve corrupted your mind.” She hisses at him, as though he were a rat in her home - not her child. He thinks it’s probably coming, that phrase he’s seen on the forums of brave Koreans who came out and heard it. “No child of mine would ever say the shit in there.” 

And there it is. Hyunggu is no longer her child. Somehow, he always knew this was how it would turn out. He’s not the type to hide who he is, any day now he would have blurted it out over dinner like it was nothing serious. The thing is, it’s  _ not  _ , Hyunggu will not apologize for being born the way he is. It’s not like he can change it. He can only pretend, and he’s not that good of an actor.    
  
“I did.” He stands his ground.    
  
“You didn’t know what you were saying. Hyunggu, there is no in between! You’ve always been strange but your father and I hoped you would grow out of it. Your father was afraid you were  _ gay  _ !” His mother laughs at that, and so does Hyunggu.    
  
“I am.” This time his mother turns pale, looks like she might hit him again but just stands up and closes the laptop with her fingers between her brows as she takes deep breaths. Like somehow this is the hardest thing she’s ever done, not even close to understanding that it is exactly that for Hyunggu. “I’m not a boy. I don’t like girls. I will never be or do either. That’s just who I am, Mom! I can’t change that about me!”    
  
“Yes, you can! We’ll get you therapy, help, a girlfriend!” She yells at him. His mother has always been a calm woman, not one to raise her voice for any trivial thing but apparently this is her breaking point.    
  
“I don’t need any of that! I don’t want it!” Hyunggu yells back, crying now, just wanting to reach out and hug his mother. Where did his mother go?    
  
“Then you can get out of this house.” Her face is red, tears spilling over. “Get out.” She repeats herself, turning cold and collected like when he first walked in. Hyunggu shakes his head as he looks at her, can’t believe this is the same woman who baked cookies and told him he could do anything he wants when he grows up, told him his dancing is beautiful and that she would always love him.    
  
“I’m still the same person I’ve always been.” Hyunggu cries. “What’s so different now?”    
  
“ _ GET OUT!” _

Hyunggu doesn’t ever go back to that house, his aunt (the one the family doesn’t talk to anymore and he never understood why) takes him in that summer and picks up all his things for him. He finds out his father went drinking as soon as his mother told him that day, disowning him on the spot. He cries a lot, despite his aunt and her girlfriend telling him it will be okay. He’s sorry to them, who have to take care of a kid when they’ve just found the time for each other inside a country that hates them. He stays out of their hair as much as he can, starting sophomore year with a smile like nothing inside him is broken - like he’s not a freak who tore everyone apart for just not existing the right way.    
  


  
In his junior year, a boy finds him in the gym after school - practicing a girl group dance, something he’s gotten really good at. His hips move well, and he feels sexy from the choreo. He likes the lithe movements, the curving of the back, he likes it all. When the boy walks in, Hyunggu doesn’t see him at first but as soon as he notices him he stops, running over to turn off the video on his laptop and stands there panting with huge eyes, waiting for the inevitable. 

The boy sneers at him, walks up and says “If you suck my dick nice and pretty, just like a girl, I won’t tell anyone you’re a faggot.”    
  
Hyunggu punches him in the face, it doesn’t hurt the boy much. He doesn’t throw the punch well and he barely even stalls, but the other boy kicks his ribs hard and gets on top of him punching him the way Hyunggu should have. He vaguely thinks he deserves it as he hears a coach enter the room shouting.    
  
Both are sent to the office, but when the angry boy tells the director that Hyunggu is a ‘faggot that tried to rape him’ no one takes Hyunggu’s word for what really happened. Hyunggu is still popular, but he’s too nice and his hair is blonde now. That’s just not how good  _ straight _ boys are. 

Hyunggu is expelled.    
  
His aunt holds him as he cries about how cruel the world is and tells him his new school will be better. They move to a tiny town where no one knows him, somewhere he can pretend to be normal. The problem is Hyunggu is tired of that, so instead he dyes his hair a vibrant blue and gets ready to start a new life without hiding, without pretending to be someone he’s not. 

  
Kino is taking in the amazing place he’s found behind the trees, playing with the small fish that swim by the river, and hoping that this new school likes him. He’s talked to a few students already when going to turn in his paperwork, everyone asking him if he’s an idol or something because of his hair and him just laughing it off - saying he has somewhere to be but that he’ll be back next week. He has a good feeling about this time, it’s his last year and he’s determined to make good friends. He hopes he can even feel what a crush is like, not having anyone to like all these years but being a hopeless romantic through and through is hard. He can only cry over Tangled so many times. 

Kino startles when he hears a camera shutter and looks in its direction, to someone behind a tree. At first, he’s a little scared. Surely things can’t be going wrong this early already. When he sees the taller boy behind the tree blush and almost drop his phone - he gets a different feeling, something strange in his stomach. He raises a hand in a friendly wave, and stands to approach the stranger which might not be the brightest of ideas but what does he have to lose? The stranger seems flustered and is quickly swiping through his phone as Kino walks closer and closer.    
  
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’ll delete it.” Kino thinks his voice is lovely, sexy even, the guy is quite a bit taller than him with the broadest shoulders he’s ever seen. He also thinks it’s cute how shy and flustered he is, and decides to play around with him - never trying this whole flirting thing before, but thinking he could be good at it.    
  
“Why? Is it a bad picture?” Kino gives him his best smile, aiming for cute and bright and doesn’t miss the way the stranger seems taken with it. Kino is nervous, but he’s always been brave and confident. If he just stays true to himself, he’ll find someone who loves him for that so he relaxes and eases into the conversation. He looks down at the photo the stranger took of him, the photo turned out so well. He’s impressed with the way he managed to frame it with all the pretty scenery and Kino in just the right spot. “Wow. That looks awesome! You gotta send it to me.” Before he even realizes what he’s saying, he’s already taking out his phone and giving it to the stranger who stares back at him. The stranger is  _ really  _ handsome, Kino notes. His eyes are expressive, he has really pretty pouty lips and a nice jawline. There’s something about his eyes, and as they argue about whether the stranger could be a serial killer Kino takes a step closer to look deeper into them. “I trust you. You have kind eyes.” He’s bullshiting a little, a lot of flirting really is just that, but it gets the boy to chuckle and put in his number so Kino is happy with his results. “Ko Shinwon?”    
  
“At your service.” The boy salutes with a smile and Kino laughs.    
  
“You’re funny.” Shinwon looks like he doesn’t believe him at first, and maybe he shouldn’t cause it really wasn’t that funny, but Kino laughs easily and continues to smile at him until the other finally smiles back. 

“I’m Kang Hyunggu.” He introduces himself, pausing before going ahead and sticking with his resolution to be true himself. With a touch of a finger to his cheek, for extra cuteness, he adds “I also go by Kino.” Which isn’t true exactly, it’s just something he’s thought of for a long time. He doesn’t mind Hyunggu, he likes his name, but he thinks having his own given name gives him power over his existence. Hyunggu exists on his own now, no parents to speak of he thinks with chagrin, so Hyunggu can become Kino - a person completely his own.    
  
“Why do you have two names?” Hyunggu’s smile falls for a second. The fear from his previous life settling deep in his bones, and he just can’t get it out of his throat. So he cuts himself some slack and plays it off as a secret with another bright smile. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all. Shinwon seems to think and come to a conclusion of some sort. “You’re the new guy.”    
  
“I am. I’m glad I’ve made a friend in my first week.” He secretly hopes this guy can be more than a friend, but that’s too early. He’s not even sure if Shinwon is interested in people like him.    
  
“Really? That’s surprising.”    
  
“Oh.” Kino pauses again, wondering if he read this boy all wrong and he’s actually about to ruin the life he has here too but he trusts his instincts that tell him Shinwon isn’t like the rest. How could someone in such a place be anything other than amazing? He pokes his shoulder, teasing, and just gives him another smile. He knows he’s cute when he smiles. Shinwon looks down at the spot and then his mouth flies open in a silent ‘oh’.    
  
“I didn’t mean-” and that’s enough for Kino. He can tell Shinwon is different, maybe even a bit like him.    
  
“Nah. I’m the new weird kid. I get that.”    
  
“You’re not weird.” Kino suppresses a laugh at how obvious Shinwon is trying to save his feelings, tripping over his own words. He spots dying dandelions, the fluffy kind, in the middle of the field and can’t believe his luck. He walks over to pick one.    
  
“I can be a little weird.” He smiles knowingly. When he blows the seeds far far away from himself, carrying his wish, he hopes that he can see Shinwon again next time he comes here.    
  


Kino is in the same home room as Shinwon, and while his teacher and classmates (most of them anyway) berate him about his appearance, he also makes a good new friend named Jinho. He’s tiny and adorable but he swears when he’s passionate and doesn’t take anyone’s crap - though Jinho knows that the older boy is actually really cute when he’s comfortable. They’ve hung out at his house with his aunts, who are married now - courtesy of a trip abroad, and Jinho actually learned a girl group dance with him. One day, as they snacked on small cakes his aunts dropped off at their study room Kino brought up the curious question.    
  
“Jinho, who’s Hongseok?” He’d been seeing Jinho’s writing all over his notes with the name and hearts on multiple study occasions. He watches the smaller boy go beet red as he attempts to cover the newest doodle with the name, and clear his throat.    
  
“Just - someone in the next class over.” Jinho mumbles. Kino isn’t dumb, he might not have ever had a crush - well maybe he does now - but he knows what people look like when they do and Jinho has it  _ bad _ . Kino is eager to tease the younger, thinking that Hongseok is a really strange name for a girl but shrugging it off.    
“Cooome on,” he pokes at Jinho’s sides with his pencil, smiling wide, “tell me about her.” Jinho gives him a disbelieving look, brows furrowed.    
  
“How many girls do you know named Hongseok?” He laughs.    
  
“Well I thought it was strange too, but it’s okay. It’s cute.” Kino offers in apology. Jinho straightens, putting down his pencil and leaning closer to Kino. 

“Kino, what are you on about? You have two aunts. You really can’t believe I’d like a boy?”    
  
Kino isn’t dumb. He’s not. He just - didn’t know how easy life  _ could  _ be, liking who you like despite what others say, not being afraid. He didn’t even consider one of his best friends could be gay. His aunts are his aunts. They’re an anomaly, but now he wonders just how many people around him could be gay. He sure hopes Shinwon is.    
  
“ _ YOU LIKE A BOY!?”  _ Kino catches up eventually, shouting it out in excitement and surprise. “Like you like like him?” His eyes are huge, his lips hanging open and he leans way too far into Jinho who pushes him off in irritation.    
  
“When did I say I like Hongseok?” Jinho pauses, staring straight ahead, blushing harder and clearing his throat. “Well - never mind. You haven’t seen him. He’s so -” Kino smiles at the look and smile Jinho gets as he talks about the boy next door, who apparently has the most amazing body Jinho has ever seen but a face and heart that just don’t match, which is his favorite part. Kino hopes he can like someone just like that as he listens and teases his friend lovingly about just asking the boy out. Jinho claims he’s getting around to it.    
  
“Why don’t  _ you  _ just get on with it with Shinwon already?”    
  
“What are you talking about? We’re best friends.” Jinho gives him a look that Kino can only describe as shocked, angry and trying not to laugh at the same time.    
  
“You act like you’re destined soulmates that finally met after fifty lifetimes missing each other.” Jinho does actually laugh after that, proud of his own joke.    
  
“We’re really close best friends.” Kino tries again. Jinho raises his eyebrow at him.    
  
“You’re kidding, Kino. You follow him like a lovesick puppy, he’s all you ever talk about when he doesn’t come to school and the look you give each other. I feel like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be when you do that.” Jinho shudders.    
  
“Each other?” Kino whispers.    
  
“Oh yeah, dude. It’s way mutual. Shinwon is fucking whipped, dude. I mean have you seen yourself? You’re adorable. Hongseok and Shinwon, they don’t stand a chance against guys like us.” He closes his eyes as if it’s a wise truth. Kino laughs in disbelief and scolds him to get back to work, but his mind can barely focus on anything more than replaying every moment he’s had with Shinwon and whether the sparks he feels aren’t just hitting him after all.    
  


  
Kino knows wishes almost always come true. Sometimes the message just takes a while, sometimes you make a wish that you didn’t really know that you didn’t mean but destiny has your back. Things always work out for the best. He’s learning this as he goes. He hasn’t had time to come back to the glenn until today, it’s a weekend and the weather is really nice. It’s already getting later in the day, but he was helping his aunts with stuff all day so he couldn’t get away. Still, when he enters he sees Shinwon already lounging on the branch Kino guesses he’s claimed as his. His smile is involuntary, he couldn’t stop it if he tried.    
  
“Wishes do come true.”    
  
“Huh?” Shinwon is so cute when he’s confused. Kino loves seeing the little cogs behind his eyes working as he has that look on his face, just looking at him as though Kino is the answer itself. Sometimes Kino can see what Jinho is talking about, the way Shinwon looks at him like the most precious thing in his life. It’s hard to miss. He was just telling himself it was wishful thinking, or maybe - maybe Kino is still afraid. Afraid to share who he really  _ really  _ is with someone who he wants to be even more important to him than he already is. He knows if he wants the love he craves so much, because he’s already falling in a little bit more than just a crush with Shinwon who makes sure everyone uses his preferred name in school, who checks if he needs anything when the teachers get on his case about his hair again (and he’s sure the reason he hasn’t been called to the office is because Shinwon has said something about it already), the boy who gives him butterflies and hope, who could give him so much more if Kino trusted him that much. Kino does. So after he admits he misses him when he’s gone, he decides to just ask something he’s wanted to ask anyone at all for so long.    
  
“What do you think I am?” He looks into Shinwon’s eyes.  _ A boy? A girl? Nothing at all? What am I?  _ Maybe Kino still doesn’t have an answer for that either, maybe he never will but it’s understanding what he’s  _ not  _ that matters first. He gets an idea, to show the side of him that Jinho has seen a little of - though dancing to Ice Cream Cake is not doing the slow sensual choreo he himself has made up after months of practicing and getting every move perfectly. Before he can turn the music on, Shinwon gives an answer.    
  
“Beautiful.” Kino holds his breath, euphoric about his answer. He knows what he’s saying, this is what he means. Shinwon understands even if he doesn’t really. He just feels something. It’s the same thing that makes Kino understand that he doesn’t talk about why he’s gone from school, about why he avoids talking about family or home in any way. The thing that makes them unable to stay away.    
  
“W - what is?” Kino wants to hear him.

“That’s what I think you are.” Kino knows he isn’t going to walk out of this forest unaccepted, knows that Shinwon will understand what he wants to say without him being able to put it into proper words, so he plays the music and he dances. The dance tells his story, the fear, the fight, the loneliness - the growth, the blooming, the happy ending. When he’s done, the look he sees in Shinwon’s eyes sends shivers down his entire body. Kino doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to start the conversation so he just asks how it was. Shinwon’s first answer isn’t what he really means, Kino understands that. It’s the second one that gets him.   
  
“Sometimes I don’t think you’re real.”    
  
Kino cries and Shinwon holds him immediately. He tries to explain in the best words he can what he’s feeling but nothing sums any of it up. He blurts out something about boxes and being more than just  _ Hyunggu _ . Shinwon gets it anyway, gets him always. Has him always. That day, Kino knows he’s in love. 

  
  


The days after, Shinwon comes to school more often. Kino knows it’s because he wants to see him just as bad as he wants to see him but doesn’t push about it. They hold hands, and brush against each other more than two friends would ever need to. They laugh when Jinho points it out annoyed, though Jinho himself has been skipping lunch with them to spend more time with his new  _ friend  _ Hongseok. Kino is waiting on the official announcement of the two dating any day now. 

They’re staying after school much later than they meant to after school duties of cleaning the classroom, just goofing around, Kino showing Shinwon some fun dances he learned a while ago. Shinwon takes his phone, plays a slower song and takes Kino by the waist pulling out a cheesy slow dance that doesn’t miss Kino’s romantic loving heart. When the song ends and they stand with Shinwon’s hands on his waist, Kino’s on his shoulders because around his neck felt like too much at once for both of them, Shinwon looks like he leans in to kiss him. Kino’s waiting for it, but Shinwon casually moves to the side and laughs saying they should be getting home. The sun is setting and Kino thinks this is the perfect time of his life, this is the epitome of young love and maybe Shinwon doesn’t love him yet, but  he will. Kino knows he will. 

Shinwon disappears. 

  
  


Kino continues to go to school, not waiting for the day that Shinwon returns after the fifth because every time he’s let down. He thinks that if it’s meant to be, it will be - but he also thinks that he scared Shinwon away. He’s hurt but somehow he’s also angry. Jinho tells him not to make assumptions and trust in him but Kino feels the rejection in his heart. He’s a good actor when he needs to be. Like in the middle school locker rooms, he goes through the rest of that fall and the start of December smiling and laughing, keeping track of grades. He makes polite small talk with the classmates that have come around and think his hair is cool. He makes new friends, a boy named Changgu who resembles sunshine itself sometimes, and Wooseok and Yuto - a strangely romantically charged platonic duo - that accompany Hongseok who becomes a regular part of their group and all but carries Jinho around in his arms. He has good days, but the pain doesn’t go away and when he tells his aunts they just smile apologetically at him and tell him he’ll find someone if it isn’t Shinwon because he’s just the  _ best _ . But Kino doesn’t feel like it. He stares at Shinwon’s message history - not a single message since that day in the classroom and scowls. If he loved him, even liked him, even  _ cared  _ about him at all he would say something. He wouldn’t just leave him completely in the dark like this. Still, Kino worries and he doesn’t hate him. He can’t. He loves him too much. 

On the tenth of December, Jinho visits Kino at home and he doesn’t look good. He looks like he’s been crying a lot, his face puffy and red and his eyes even more so. Kino can still hear the boy sniffling uncontrollably when he asks him to come in and his aunts stand to help, concern in their eyes until Jinho shakes his head and Kino takes him upstairs to his room.   
  
“What’s wrong? What happened?”    
  
Jinho just keeps shaking his head, eventually breaking into sobs again and curling into Kino who just holds him as best he can, waiting for him to get it all out.    
  
“I c-can’t. I can’t  _ tell _ you. I can’t fucking tell you.” Jinho sobs. Kino’s worry rises exponentially, looking at Jinho with pleading eyes willing him to tell him. He can’t help if he doesn’t know. “You need to go to him yourself.” Jinho wipes at his eyes, calming down again with brows furrowed. “God, it’s his birthday tomorrow, isn’t it?”   
  
“Whose?” Kino already knows whose. There’s only one birthday they’d both know by heart right now, one person who could explain this shocking side of Jinho - the strongest hyung Kino has, one he never expected to see cry like this. He can’t imagine what he must have found out.    
  
“Shut up. You’re both so fucking dumb, god.” Kino whines. “No, you’re not. I just-” Jinho runs his hand through his hair, staring at the carpet. “Put a jacket on, get your shoes.”    
  
“What?”    
  
“We’re going shopping. We have to get him gifts for tomorrow, maybe a cake.” Kino doesn’t stand, stares at his hyung and bites on the inside of his cheek. “What are you doing?”    
  
“I - I don’t want to see him.”    
  
“Get the fuck up right now.” Jinho uses the tone he uses for kids that don’t take him seriously as class president due to his small stature. It’s terrifying, and Kino hops up. “I’m not going tomorrow. It has to be just you.”    
  
“ _ Jinho,”  _ Kino doesn’t understand how Jinho expects him to go to his place, after just leaving him hanging after everything, not even one text. He’s really supposed to tuck tail and run to him for his birthday?    
  
“You still only call him hyung.” Jinho points out and Kino blushes. “I know.” He sighs. “I know he’s been an asshole for not saying anything, but Kino you need to talk to him. I can’t tell you why, you have to trust me.” Kino does. Jinho is his best friend, so he gets his jacket and his shoes.    
  
“I already have a present for him.” He mumbles, thinking of the guitar that arrived just a few days before with a pick he spent ages trying to find, the exact color he needed.    
  
  


Kino dyes his hair silver, wanting to start again with Shinwon. It looks really good, and he puts on the best smile he can even though he’s too hurt for it to be completely real at this point. He brings Jinho’s present with him, but tells himself he’ll deliver his own present only after seeing what’s going on. Kino is surprised to see the huge mansion, but at the same time he remembers Shinwon’s quiet admittance to having connections during their first lunch together. When it takes three whole minutes to get an answer from his two knocks on the door, he almost stomps off and forgets about the whole damn thing but Shinwon opens the door looking terrible. He’s still handsome, impossibly so, but he’s obviously exhausted and a little too skinny - a little too pale, his eyes a little too dead. Kino’s resolve to be mad at him crumbles immediately. Shinwon looks terrified to see him, almost seems to close the door in his face. Kino acts first.    
  
“Happy Birthday, hyung.” He says like nothing happened, but his smile is so forced it hurts him to even wear it. They’re inside, Kino can’t believe how expensive everything must be and he’s so confused. Shinwon doesn’t look right, he looks like Hyunggu did all that time ago when that boy beat the shit out of him on the gym floor, when his parents stopped loving him. “It’s okay.”    
  
“I-” Shinwon’s voice breaks, his eyes overflowing with apologies Kino can tell are there.    
  
“It’s okay, hyung. I trust that you had a good reason to ignore me.” He says it that way on purpose, to let it be known that he’s not okay. They’re not okay. Still, Shinwon  _ really  _ doesn’t look okay and he holds Kino so close all of a sudden. The smaller boy stiffens, angry until he notices the shivering and then the wince when he brushes Shinwon’s ribs. Something suddenly occurs to him, why Shinwon doesn’t talk about his family, why Jinho cried so hard and he’s mortified. He’s wishing and wishing that it’s not true.

“Show me.” Shinwon takes his shirt off, they both blush at the amount of skin and for just a second Kino marvels at the shoulders again, but that’s not what’s important now. The bruise on Shinwon’s right side is so similar to the one Kino had those days after the gym. “W-who?” He thinks he knows.   
  
“My dad.” 

Kino can’t believe how selfish he’s been. Jinho is right. He’s so fucking dumb. He lets all his thoughts out, begging Shinwon to get help, to rely on him. They scream and they argue and Kino just can’t hold back anymore when Shinwon breaks a chair. He falls into him, wraps his arms around his neck and pushes him back towards a couch behind them - falling on top of him with all his tears. Shinwon’s breathing is stalled, and Kino can feel how fast his heart is beating. It’s the same as him. They calm down, stay like that after getting all that bottled up pain out from each of them - Shinwon strokes his hair.    
  
“I love the silver.”    
  
“I love you.” Kino waited too long to say it. He should have said it that day after school. Maybe then Shinwon would have known he would do anything for him, anything at all to make sure he’s safe and happy. Maybe he knew Shinwon wouldn’t say it back but it doesn’t hurt less. When he says ‘I think you should go’, Kino doesn’t disagree. Shinwon catches his wrist as he’s going, calling his name.    
  
“I need time. I-I can’t love you like  _ this  _ .” Kino knows what that means. He knows deep in his heart those words mean he loves him too, or is trying to, but he can’t stay there and look at him, can’t let any of this hurt go despite of it. It’s not that he blames Shinwon, or even himself. Sometimes things don’t work out, sometimes they do. Kino still thinks they will, but he’ll let time tell. When he leaves, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see Shinwon again. Later he hires a delivery for the cake, and pays the man extra for the guitar too. He hopes Shinwon thinks about him when he uses it. 

  
  


It’s the New Year that brings Kino everything he’s ever wished for. He’s surrounded by friends that know and love him for who he is, the man he loves (he’s twenty now after all) loves him too and their first kiss is Kino’s new favorite feeling in the world. They don’t talk about everything they need to before they kiss and forgive, not yet - they don’t want to start the year like that, but they know they want each other in it. Maybe they’re dumb, certainly they are - but they’re young and they’re in love and that’s all Kino wants right now.    
  


It’s Kino’s birthday this time that they bring it up again, the beating. It’s not the best time to talk about it, but Shinwon is the one who starts so it’s not like Kino is going to deny him that healing. They’re just on the couch in Shinwon’s house, again his parents are not home - though Shinwon told Kino and Jinho that he only has his mom now. The divorce went through just a few days ago. It was welcome news to all, though Kino held Shinwon in his arms as he cried about it in private later. Shinwon is stroking his new dyed red hair, there’s a cheesy movie on and Kino knew from the start this was a gateway for something they’ve been waiting to do. He jokes it’s cause Shinwon is a pervert but he’s wanted to as well - though he’s afraid of some things.    
  
“Baby,” Kino preens at the name, it still gets him every time. Shinwon pauses the movie, looks at him and Kino sits up - feeling something is serious. “I want to talk before we go any further today.”    
  
“Yeah,” Kino breathes, thinking he should do the same about his own thoughts. “You first.”    
  
“Don’t blame yourself.” Shinwon says bluntly, sometimes Jinho and him can be so alike that Kino wonders if he and Hongseok traded boyfriends how different it would be.    
  
“For what?” Kino tilts his head, not meaning to but watching as Shinwon smiles and whines about how cute he is with pride.    
  
“I wanted to tell them.”    
  
“What are you talking about?” Shinwon’s eyes widen and he looks sheepish. 

“Jinho didn’t tell you why I was gone in December?”    
  
“No, he told me I have to find out myself. I know why you were gone though. It’s okay, we moved past it, right?” There were days after Kino still hated himself for not thinking about how much Shinwon must have had to go through all those days, that there was more than one beating - just that that one was the worst. Shinwon took his time to assure him that everyone makes mistakes, and that he still should have messaged anything at all if he was able. They worked it out. He watches the anxious tics Shinwon goes through, the rubbing of his neck that Kino still gets petulant about when he thinks that Yan An gave that to him and he wasn’t his first boyfriend like Shinwon is his, and puts his hand on the older’s thigh with support and a slight smile of encouragement. No matter what it was, they’d get through it.    
  
“That night - I told him I was gay, that I was going to publically date a boy.” Shinwon finally says. Kino feels all the humiliation, hate and regret from the initial day he found out he was being way too petty when Shinwon was struggling, that the whole reason for his upset wasn’t even right in any way. “After that dance, I wanted to kiss you but-”    
  
“You didn’t want to hide.” Kino finishes. They get each other, they always did. Kino climbs onto Shinwon’s lap, kissing him until they’re both gasping for breath. “I’m so sorry.” Kino tears up, nuzzling into the hand Shinwon raises against his cheek, brushing his thumb on Kino’s bottom lip.    
  
“Baby, we’ll hurt each other again in the years to come. Everyone argues, everyone fights. It’s about getting through it, right?” Shinwon smiles. Kino sniffles and nods his head. “Now what about you? You said you had something you wanted to talk about.” Shinwon is so patient. He’s calm but goofy and excitable when he’s happy, when there’s a time for it. Kino adores all sides of him, still can’t believe he belongs to him most days. Thinks that day in the glenn must have truly been magical, that maybe that dandelion wish to see him again had a lot more behind it than he knew.

“You- I know you want to have sex.” Kino blushes, looking down at his lap. He’s doing all his firsts with Shinwon, he’s shy and he’s learning and he’s  _ embarrassed _ but he wants to.    
  
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t -”    
  
Kino puts his finger on Shinwon’s lips, annoyed. Sometimes Shinwon treats him like he’s ten years younger and not just two, and most of the time it’s nice but sometimes Kino just wants to get fucked like the grown man he is.    
  
“I know. That’s not what I was saying.” Kino groans at him. “I just- I’ve never done anything like it before, and I’m you know. I’m not a boy but I do have a dick and like-”    
  
“Baby, are you just trying to tell me you’re not a girl even though you’re not a boy?” Shinwon laughs, and it’s not to hurt Kino’s feelings. He gets the laugh, it relaxes him too. It’s silly really, but it seemed important so he’s glad he’s said it. Kino just nods, blushing. “I am very aware of what I have to work with.” Shinwon smirks and puts his hand down onto his crotch, digging his palm down onto him with a small rub. Kino whimpers in shock and slight arousal. He pecks his lips. “Thank you for telling me.” Again, Shinwon knows - just understands. It’s important to Kino.    
  
“Are we gonna do it now?” Kino breathes, gets closer to Shinwon’s lips again with his eyes lidded.   
  
“If you want to.” Shinwon leans in, sucks Kino’s bottom lip into his mouth and nibbles on it with a smile as he pulls away. “Whatever you want.”    
  
“What do  _ you  _ want?” Kino whines.    
  
“You.” It’s the way Shinwon says it, Kino shivers all over. He  _ feels  _ wanted, and that’s why he wants to do it too. He wants Shinwon as much as he wants him.    
  
“I want you too.” Kino whispers, doesn’t know why. It’s like if they leave this couch now, everything will flow away and get ruined. He doesn’t want to pop their bubble. He moves his hips, the way that only dancers can, and watches as Shinwon closes his eyes and bites down on his lip with a great sense of pride.    
  
“We should do this on a bed for your first.” Shinwon’s voice already sounds different, lower - a little more raw. Kino feels a strange panic, but Shinwon lifts him in his arms with a smile and carries him to his room - laying him down gently and hovering with a look in his eyes. A look Kino hasn’t seen before that drives him crazy. “How far do you want to -”    
  
“All of you, hyung.” Kino says, looking him in the eyes and showing he means it.    
  
“It’s going to hurt a little, no matter how much lube we use.”    
  
“I don’t mind. I want to.”    
  
“Birthday sex being your first time,” Shinwon chuckles, “you sure are a special person, hm? Favored by the gods?”    
  
“Are you a god then?” They do this sometimes, flirt like they’ve just met. Jinho hates it, but Kino claims that he and Hongseok are worse. The way Jinho drools over just a little skin showing on his boyfriend. Kino loves this, loves that their game continues even if they’ve already won.    
  
“Should I show you?” Shinwon kisses him deeply, sticking his tongue into Kino’s mouth and they both groan into it. Shinwon lowers his hips, slots their crotches together with him between Kino’s legs and starts to grind. Kino doesn’t think he’s ever felt this good before, wonders if all sex is this good, if Shinwon is that good, or if it’s not that good at all and it’s just because it’s Shinwon. It doesn’t matter. “Can I take your clothes off, baby?” Kino is already pulling at Shinwon’s shirt, taking it all the way off and sighing at the sight.    
  
“God, do you know how fucking hot your shoulders and back are?” Kino whines, kissing at his boyfriend’s collarbones. “Drove me crazy since that first day.”    
  
“Have you even seen yourself?” Shinwon quips back as he strips him down, Kino in just boxer briefs now - hard as hell from just this because he’s excited to get to it. It’s his  _ first  _ time. “I thought I’d met a fairy or something, just dreamt you up.” Shinwon takes his skinny jeans off, and now they’re both in just underwear. Kino gets shy, though he knows his body is nice - lean and toned from all the dance. Shinwon has the beginnings of abs coming in, and Kino can’t get enough of looking at him. He also notes that his dick looks quite a bit bigger than his, and that doesn’t  _ not  _ scare him. Shinwon notices him staring a little too long. “We can just use hands today, baby.”    
  
“Shut up. I want you to fuck me. I’m going to be scared any other day, just as much as now. I’m ready. I want it.” Kino emphasizes this with more rolls of his hips against Shinwon’s crotch and nipping at his lips like he did earlier, liking it a lot.    
  
“Say it again.” Shinwon groans.    
  
“Fuck me.” Kino repeats, closer to his ear and voice more breathy because Shinwon starts to stroke him through the fabric. “Oh, god.”    
  
“Feels good?” Shinwon laughs. “You haven’t done anything before? Haven’t tried fingering yourself?”    
  
“Well I’ve jerked off, of course.” Kino defends himself. “But- no I haven’t ever done anything with my ass. I mean - I didn’t know anything about it and I was hiding for so long.”    
  
“Do you want to try yourself first?” Kino thinks about it but shakes his head. 

“No, I want you to do everything. I’m a pillow princess.” Kino grins at him, liking that they can be silly and laugh at each other. If he had to be sexy the whole time, he wouldn’t like sex as much.    
  
“My pillow princess,” Shinwon lands another kiss on his lips before starting to kiss at his neck and moving down his torso, licking over his nipples a bit with his eyes on Kino’s face, gauging his reactions. Kino thinks he might die right here, everything feels so good. He almost knees Shinwon in the throat when he kisses the head of his cock through the briefs. “Oh my god, why does everything feel so intense?”    
  
“Does it?”

“Is it supposed to?” 

“It’s because we’re in love, baby.” Shinwon laughs, looking unbearably fond. “I have to get the lube, wait here.” Kino watches as Shinwon goes to his en suite bathroom and decides to bite the bullet and just let his dick go free so he takes his briefs off and throws them to the side. “Wow,” Shinwon sighs when he sees Kino. “I still don’t think you’re real sometimes.” Kino almost tears up at that, the memory from nearly a year ago resonating and making him emotional. 

“Don’t think this is how you’re supposed to make me cry.”   
  
“Can I suck your dick?” Kino sputters at the bluntness again, and turns redder.    
  
“Yeah, but I don’t want to come -” Kino looks shy “ I don’t think I can last long since it’s my first.”    
  
“I know, baby. It’s okay. I just need a distraction while I stretch you.”    
  
“You don’t like doing it?” Kino asks confusedly. Shinwon laughs.    
  
“So cute. A distraction for  _ you _ . It’s going to hurt a little at first.” Shinwon doesn’t lie, the first finger doesn’t really hurt, and Shinwon uses an insane amount of lube - just feels strange when Kino’s never felt that sensation before. Shinwon suckles at the head of his cock as he pumps his finger in and out of him, listening to Kino’s little pants. “Second finger is where it starts to burn.” He looks at him for confirmation and Kino nods, cheeks flushed high and eyes lidded. He’s really into it. Shinwon leans over to kiss him again. “You are so beautiful, god.”    
  
“You’re one to talk.” Kino whispers.    
  
“Not even close.” He sinks his mouth all the way down onto him as he puts the second in, and Kino almost screams from the pleasure from Shinwon’s mouth - but also from the unexpected burn. Shinwon uses his other hand to squeeze his left thigh in assurance and Kino whines as it starts to feel good. Shinwon comes back up, still pumping and starting to scissor them in and out. “How is it, baby?”    
  
“I’m gonna cry.” Kino whines. He holds onto Shinwon’s hand that starts to pull out and glares at him. “Not from that. It just feels so good, everything. I can’t imagine what the orgasm is gonna be like.” He’s honestly a little afraid.    
  
“I think you’re really sensitive naturally, baby.” Shinwon smirks. “That’s really hot.” 

“Call me baby when you fuck me.” Kino pleads. Shinwon’s eyes widen.    
  
“You like it like that?” 

“It doesn't’ feel sexual  _ normally _ , but - I really like it when you’re doing this to me. A different way, it turns me on.”    
  
“Pretty baby,” Shinwon’s voice goes lower. Kino moans louder. Shinwon smiles. “Third one, okay?”    
  
“Please, I want you to be inside me already.” Kino pauses, eyes snapping open. “Do you have condoms?” Shinwon’s fingers still, cursing under his breath he gets up to dig through his drawers. He turns around, a stupid smile on his face - a smile that tells Kino no, he does not have condoms. “Have you-” 

“I’m clean, I have the papers from the last time. I haven’t had sex for ages.”    
  
“You sound eager.” Kino raises a brow. Shinwon smiles with a hand on his neck, that nervous tick again. “Well, I’ve never done anything with anyone. I’ll allow you to not use a condom.” Kino says matter of factly.    
  
“Thank you, your Majesty.” Shinwon kisses him again. “We really don’t have to do anything though, baby?” He strokes his hair back, Kino’s already getting sweaty from the nerves and pleasure. “Or I can go get condoms.”    
  
“No. I - I want to do it without one if we’re both clean.” Kino looks away. 

“You’re gonna kill me. Okay, three?” Kino nods, and watches as Shinwon puts seemingly even more lube than before and carefully presses the three forward, Kino makes a sound between a moan and a really drawn out ‘ow’. Shinwon continues to suck his dick as he puts them all the way in and out, stretching brutally but Kino pulls him off right as he hits something that makes Kino jerk off the bed, back arching high. His moan isn’t even slightly suppressed.    
  
“What the fuck was that?” Kino breathes out once he can speak.    
  
“Prostate,” Shinwon grins. “What I’ll be aiming for once I’m inside.”    
  
“I’m really going to cry.” Kino whines. Shinwon takes his fingers out and settles over him again, leaning down to kiss him deeply and stroke his dick a few times. “I’m ready, hyung.”    
  
Shinwon groans. “What? Hyung?” Kino smirks at him. “Can’t laugh at me now.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Kino realizes latently that Shinwon took his briefs off a while ago, and he can now fully see his size. 

“Wait - wait - wait, how does  _ that  _ go inside me?” 

“Really giving me a big ego.” Shinwon laughs but looks at him kindly, tutting. “It works, I promise baby. I’ll go slow, tell me to stop at any time.” Kino nods, eyes still showing his fear.    
  
“Do you want me to bottom?” Shinwon suddenly asks and Kino swears he almost comes at the thought.    
  
“Um, not today.” Kino thinks. “But  _ definitely  _ another time.” Shinwon smiles at him and plants another kiss, before he aligns himself between Kino’s legs spreading him with his hands. Kino has never experienced anything hotter, porn has nothing on Ko Shinwon and his freaking shoulders. “I love you.” He says suddenly and Shinwon moans loudly as he starts to push forward, Kino joining him.    
  
“You can’t just  _ say  _ that when I’m trying to get inside you.” Shinwon’s head is lowered, sweat dripping onto Kino’s stomach. “God, I almost came.”    
  
“What, you have a love kink?” 

“I have feelings, asshole. Of course, I do.” Shinwon’s only halfway in, and Kino can barely believe it but he’s okay so he nods to keep going. Shinwon bottoms out, clenching his jaw and Kino can feel the extra sweat collecting just from this move alone but it feels so good to be so full. It’s satisfying and hot, and so so intimate.   
  
“You’re inside me.” Kino whispers in disbelief.    
  
“Yeah,” Shinwon pants. “Baby, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m not going to last when you’re this fucking tight.” Kino pulls him down for a kiss, a soft one with  _ feelings _ .    
  
“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”    
  
“Hey.” Shinwon whines. “No it’s not.” Kino laughs.   
  
“No, it’s not. Now move. Weren’t you going to aim for my prostate or something?” Shinwon really wants to just pull out and slam back in full force, go nuts, but he doesn’t want to hurt Kino in any way so he pulls back and watches his face. Thrusting back and forth, shallow and slow until he sees Kino look more comfortable and his pants get more pleasure filled again, with little whines that drive Shinwon up the wall. He’s really not going to last long. Who could? “I think I’m okay now, faster? Harder? I don’t know how this works.” Shinwon laughs, calling him cute again under his breath and kissing at his neck causing Kino to moan deeply once more. He takes the opportunity to pull almost all the way out and thrust back in with power, aiming for exactly the right spot. Kino yells. Shinwon figures he got it, he grinds against it inside, his hands pinch at Kino’s nipples lightly and the younger boy can’t make any coherent sounds - only depraved noises that get Shinwon closer and closer to the edge.    
  
“Fuck, baby. You feel so good.”    
  
“Oh god, oh god, fuck. Shit.” Kino’s voice gets higher and higher as Shinwon continues to thrust at a steady fast pace, feeling himself getting closer and closer. He reaches to stroke Kino’s cock, the younger moaning even louder until Shinwon feels him spill all over his hand and stomach with one final whine and Shinwon himself pulls out to stroke himself off onto Kino’s stomach as well, then rolls over to lay next to him collecting him into his side. Kino turns to hug him.    
  
“Happy birthday, baby. I love you so much.” Shinwon kisses the top of his head.    
  
“You didn’t get me a present, did you?” Kino laughs. Shinwon looks nervous, too nervous for Kino to laugh it off. “It’s fine, you know. I don’t mind.”    
  
“It’s not that. I mean, to be honest I’ve been saving some money for something for a long time. Think you can wait just a little longer, baby?”    
  
“I was  _ kidding _ . That orgasm was a great present!”    
  
“Is that all it was? Not your first time with your amazing boyfriend? A moment you’ll never forget in your life?”    
  
“Yeah, yeah. That too.” Kino kisses him, hoping all the things he can’t say - Shinwon just gets. Somehow he knows he does.    
  


  
The birthday present is a beautiful silver engagement ring with a bright blue stone and they both cry when Shinwon gets down on one knee inside the glenn to ask the question. Kino, of course, accepts and they go home to his aunts to tell them. They already love Shinwon, months spent with them and Kino watching movies, spending holidays and so on. Kino hasn’t met Shinwon’s mom yet, but his fiancee assures him she knows and loves him, promises to make it to the wedding and embarrass her son like she was supposed to when he introduced Kino as just his boyfriend. Kino knows Shinwon is emotional about it, Shinwon knows Kino is too since his own parents won’t even get an invitation. Kino doesn’t need them though, he has all the family and friends he needs. He has Shinwon, with whom he’ll start his own family - adopting a beautiful child of their own from a foster home when they feel they’re ready. They’ve already talked about it; Shinwon has always wanted to be a dad and Kino can’t imagine  _ not  _ having kids.   
  
At the wedding, a small get together inside the glenn they set up, Jinho catches the bouquet and Hongseok turns bright red. Shinwon smirks, knowing Hongseok already asked where he got Kino’s ring from. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kino adores kids, I HAD to imply they're going to adopt. Also I adore HongHo and maybe sometime in the future, I'll write a story for them in this universe too. Jinho is lowkey my favorite character in this.
> 
> RIP Yan An, he didn't make it for this one.
> 
> Please please leave comments! Also, this is my first time writing such a long smut scene so I am SORRY if it sucks! Have mercy .


End file.
